The Talking Cake parody chapter two: Stop ignoring me

Chapter two: Stop ignoring me

Our four heroes were sitting in Claire and Daisy’s bakery. Claire looked straight ahead, and whispered to Daisy, “We’re on. Say your line”. Daisy perked up and said, “So you think we should get a carriage to ride in”. Will replied, “Yah, and exactly what time period are we in?”.
Claire shrugged and answered, “The author never really decided what time period this took place in. The book is clearly modern enough to feature Azerbeijan, and Ireland, but not modern enough to use swords. Yet we wear clothes from the 17th century. I guess we’re sometime in the 15th century or something like that. That made more sense in my head”.

Suddenly there was a puff of smoke and flame and a old evil witch appeared. It was Minerva. None of our heroes reacted, and Minerva shouted, “It is I Minerva! I have come here to kill….umm hello right here”. The others didn’t seem to notice her, and Claire took a deep whiff of the air and said, “Eww what’s that smell. Daisy did you leave the fire on?”
Minerva shot some energy blasts at the, but Claire, Daisy and Will managed to avoid them. Claire shouted in fear, “ Who could have done such a thing? Oh my god, Carlisa must be in here invisible. Clearly this must be Carlisa”.
Minerva sobbed, “Stop ignoring me”. Will said, “Yah I mean why would the author waste her time with the other witches. Carlisa clearly is the main witch”. Minerva whimpered, “Stop…ignoring me! Anne you better talk about me more. I’m a villain too right”
Me: Sorry your being cut due to the fact that basicly Carlisa is the main villain.

Minerva was in disbelief with the author’s decision, and yelled, “ So is that why your having them ignore me!? Because I’m not as important as Carlisa!”
Me: Basically. Ever wonder why this scene never made it in the final novel
Minverva: God I hate literature

NOW BACK TO THE ACTION:
Claire wondered, “Ok so that was weird. So you were saying we should get a carriage? Yah so thankfully we’ll forget common sense and have a carriage appear in the next ten minutes”.

MEANWHILE SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY IN A PLACE THAT IS NEVER ACTUALLY NAMED:

Carlisa was reading the script to the remake and mumbled, “Wait so I had an affair with…” before Carlisa could reveal any details about the remake, Minerva ran up to her and cried, “CARLISA STOP!” Carlisa stopped, rolled her eyes and said, “What?”. Minerva quickly explained that the author is attempting to keep details about the remake a secret other than the details already released to the public. Carlisa then asked Minerva seriously, “Did you kill Will?”. Minerva answered, “He didn’t even look at me. But you still love me, don’t you”. Carlisa was too busy looking at her nails, and said, “Girl, not even the author loves you”. Minerva slumped in sadness, and blubbered, “I guess I might as well go off screen till the author decides to have either Will, Claire, Daisy..err not Daisy, or Trevor kill me off. Bye audience”.
Minerva walked off screen and doesn’t return for another couple chapters.

Carlisa, ignoring Minerva, walked over to the window where a generic black crow with bright red eyes was perched on the mantle. She said to the bird, “Find me Prince Will of Nohavia, and let me know exactly where he is. Go…now!”. The bird flew off and Carlisa thought, “God I’m soo bad-ass”.